why didn't you poke me back
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
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