We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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