Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I hope mine doesn't look like that
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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