is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
