If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
