i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
