I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
