just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
