R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i think my mom watched the whole time
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
