Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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