do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
