Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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