Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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