Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
