What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
well most of my day revolves around power hour
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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