WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
