I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
it's great music for shaving your balls
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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