i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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