His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
