12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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