so explain again why im purple
no
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
