Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
