i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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