Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
