The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
