I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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