I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
