things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
