How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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