you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
