i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
