Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
