He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
