you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
