So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
