Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
