WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
