No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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