Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
