Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
i need some magic done to my vagina
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
