...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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