hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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