but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
