If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
i think my cat just said my name.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
