If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
