Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
