I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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