wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
