im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
