You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
